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MatPlus.Net Forum Promenade You know you are a problemist when,,,
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(1) Posted by Hauke Reddmann [Thursday, Jun 12, 2008 11:46]

You know you are a problemist when,,, automatically complete "Tura" with "Waldemar".

(Mind to add some more self-explaining and less naughty items? :-)

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(2) Posted by Frank Richter [Thursday, Jun 12, 2008 12:50]

"Hauke" with "Reddmann" (not with "Haien" as in school!) ...
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(3) Posted by Roberto Stelling [Thursday, Jun 12, 2008 15:56]; edited by Roberto Stelling [08-06-12]

When rice reminds you of tasks instead of food,
when soil is the last thing you think about when you hear the word fen,
when you see the license plate GBR-1300 you think: "I'd play white!" and then "what about the pawns?"
This could go on forever!
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(4) Posted by Siegfried Hornecker [Thursday, Jun 12, 2008 17:46]; edited by Siegfried Hornecker [08-06-12]

talking about Johann Strauss makes you laugh when Blue Danube is mentioned [joke problem tourney in 1993]
you think, fairy tales are stories about chess problems
you try to place a queen upside down on a board, declaring it as grasshopper
you think, N in notation means nightrider
you think, Peter Molyneux and Michael Jackson talked about chess when mentioning "Black & White"
you wonder how to resolve the position at retro clothes
Variantim is the first thing you think of when talking about the Middle East
you became a Ph. D. of quantum mechanics just to understand a problem by Langstaff
rubber reminds you of TR Dawson
you spent your wedding night with your chessboard
you wonder if the rock band Queen meant "Kamikaze Queen" when singing "Killer Queen"
you would prevent your children from learning chess - if composing would leave you time for a wife
you read the title and wonder why you should be a british magazine

and the ultimate way to know you're a problemist:
you read the whole thread hoping to laugh only to see that everything applies to you
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(5) Posted by Dejan Glisić [Thursday, Jun 19, 2008 16:45]

Dear Siegrfried,
This is very naughty from you! Is it joke from Bosnia & Herzegovina, Croatia, Serbia or Montenegro? Confess! Where did you hear that joke?
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(6) Posted by Siegfried Hornecker [Thursday, Jun 19, 2008 17:51]

Which one do you mean?

No, I didn't hear any jokes but (I think you talk about Blue Danube) it wasn't too far away. Of course, I got the award a little time ago.
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(7) Posted by Dejan Glisić [Friday, Jun 20, 2008 18:18]

Sorry, my mistake. It was my reply to the first joke by Hauke Reddmann. In BIH, CRO, SER & MNE, "tura" may be translated as "put in" (not Russian premier!). So, when nonproblemist from Balkans hear "Waldemar Tura" he may ask another naughty questions…
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(8) Posted by Siegfried Hornecker [Friday, Jun 20, 2008 20:32]


I only knew about a witch called Tura in a video game from 1993. Now I understand his joke, finally! :-)
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(9) Posted by seetharaman kalyan [Thursday, Sep 23, 2010 22:00]; edited by seetharaman kalyan [10-09-23]

You know you are a problemist if "Mate in three moves" does not sound naughty !!
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(10) Posted by Kevin Begley [Friday, Sep 24, 2010 03:53]; edited by Kevin Begley [10-09-24]

Apologies if any of these are anticipated:

You know you are a problemist when... would prefer to have a matching twin.
...the doctor says, "let's test your reflexes," and you have the urge to reply, "those are C+" usually create a circuit without using a battery. detour onto a street named "Babson," looking for four pairs of adjacent, matching houses. find yourself empathizing with that Carly Simon song, in a way she never intended.
...$99.99 always sounds one penny shy of impossible.

(fairy specific): have a good grasp of Einstein.
...your niece says she is looking for a Hamster wheel, and you go searching databases. think of a Camel whenever you hear, "...long night." expect fewer than a dozen black Roses to achieve a Complete Kiss. discover "Dame de la Nuit" contains a certain redundancy. know that a psycho-Castle drops in Crazyhouse, but Bughouse doesn't drop in Castle-Locust, nor a Bouncing-Lune in Madcap Zigzag.
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(11) Posted by Marcos Roland [Friday, Sep 24, 2010 16:32]; edited by Marcos Roland [10-09-24]

...your wife gives you the ultimatum: "Who's the queen here, after all?!"
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MatPlus.Net Forum Promenade You know you are a problemist when,,,